This is a post from LLL from this thread: https://www.sonlight-forums.com/showpost.php?p=156697
Ok. I am going to try and word this carefully and I am almost certain to be misunderstood. Please understand that I am not questioning my Salvation.
Why must we spend so much time discussing whether or not we are certain of where we would go if we were to die tonight? I frankly, don’t care. By God’s merciful Grace, I am aware of His existence. By God’s merciful Grace, I am aware of my sinfulness and my separation from Him. By God’s merciful Grace, I am aware that there is nothing I can do to earn my way into His presence. Unless He reaches down and takes me in the palm of His Hand, I can do nothing. Unless, He pays the price I am totally lost. I am awed by the Incarnation. I am humbled beyond measure by the Passion and Death that Jesus endured for my sins. And even with the sacrifice of Jesus that paid the price for my sin, the damage of sin remains to my soul and I cannot even serve Him without the assistance of the Holy Spirit.
And ALL THAT MATTERS IS SERVING HIM. My soul screams “Wash me! Like the refiner’s fire, burn away the dross…and give me strength to endure the process. Make me transparent. Use my hands. My feet. My life. In whatever way You desire, for as long as You desire it, solely because You desire it. Keep me from ever turning away from you, keep me from my lingering attachment to sin because I know that I cannot be in your presence as long as it remains.” Someone…can’t remember who…said something roughly like this. “Jesus was crucified with two thieves. One was saved. Never despair. One was not. Never presume.” Satan turned from the Glory of God even after knowing heaven. Adam and Eve knew intimate communion with God and yet, chose to break that communion. Yes, I have the assistance of the Holy Spirit without whose assistance I am sure I would never endure, but I see too many NT exhortations to endure, to persist, to persevere to presume.
So yes, I am sure of where I would spend eternity if I were to die tonight. I would however, prefer not to presume that I am immune from the mistakes of others who knew a deeper Communion with God and chose otherwise. But it seems like such a small question. I would rather trust in Him, believe in Him, serve Him, obey Him, know Him, no matter where it takes me, no matter what the price EVEN if I could not be sure of where I would spend eternity. Even if I had NO HOPE of heaven. I would rather serve Him than not.
